Tips to resolve trouble teens
A resolution and tips to support parents facing trouble teens. The never ending struggle to correct teens causes headaches and a worldwide issue, making parents knocking the doors of doctors and consultants, hoping to have instant remedial. But by looking in deeper, it seems the fundamental cause is development of the teens, it starts from home, the influence of friends, media, school, teachers.
Case No 2: ‘A Muslim girl stated to her friend in Face book that she had adultery, and addicted to such activity, this girl memorize the Quran and at the same time wearing the veil’ her, her friend replied; requesting her to repent and stop the love affair, but eventually she started again and had another adultery.
A 16 year old girl is frequently depressed. When reprimanded by her mother, she tries to avoid any conversation. Nonetheless, the bulging belly is difficult to keep the secret. She ran away and live with a foster family, and later taken to the hospital to give birth.
Dear writer, what’s your opinion to help trouble teens?
X6admin: “This institutional condition is widespread, making consultants and parents rushing to see the doctor for immediate resolution, but unfortunately the doctors could not provide a definite cure. This unapproved affair and fast game of love ends with despair and hardships. The result is crucial discarding babies in the thrash or buried alive. Prevention is better than cure.. as the saying goes.. Verily a spoiled teenager takes more time and effort to revitalize into a proper person. Don’t try to give advice or sermons, it would not work”.
Let’s look at the alarming rate of abortion worldwide. It may hit our neighbour and worst yet to come our beloved teens.
According to WHO, every year in the world an estimated 40-50 million women faced with an unplanned pregnancy decide to have an abortion. This corresponds to approximately 125,000 abortions per day.
In the USA, where nearly half of pregnancies are unintended, and four in 10 of these are terminated by abortion  , there are over 3,000 abortions per day. Twenty-two percent of all pregnancies in the USA (excluding miscarriages) end in abortion. 
It seems abortion has been a silence killer…
Social SYMPTOMS plaguing today’s society indicates a weak fortress, unable to fend off any attacks aiming to undermine the faith and courage of the community.
Siti Nor Bahyah said, “the youth of today are heavily influenced by three elements entertainment (fun), fashion and food that if not controlled or guided, may lead negative activities”.
She said, no doubt instincts inclined towards entertainment and teens become restless if they are unable to listen to music but parents are responsible for filtering the type or form of audible entertainment.
Similarly, fashion reflects Asian values, and emulating anything from the West, the westernize culture does not fit Asian values and life style.
Meanwhile snacks or fast food contributes to the problem of children becoming hyperactive and disobey their parents.
“I have categorized it into 3F’s of fun, fashion, food, and these fundamental needs should be given serious thoughts by parents by taking precautions and avoiding unnecessary impact on our teens”.
She said: to prevent the spread of negative symptoms among adolescents, seven noteworthy points should be considered by parents, and all members of the society must take responsibility developing a pious generation with rich moral values.
Here are the Tips to resolve trouble teens, keep these points in mind.
Seven important points
1 The importance of prayer: Try to perform prayer on time and if possible in congregation to build a strong bond of brotherhood and love.
2 Gratitude for the blessings of Allah; being grateful, by realizing the blessing given to you, such as health, wealth, a happy family, a good job etc.
3 Greeting and show respect; at times it is regarded as trivial while the practice is a holistic self prayer seeking salvation, mercy and blessings. Do not underestimate the value of greetings at home or when you meet your spouse or love ones.
4 Loving; saying the word ‘love’ plus showing care and concern towards each other, builds a strong community, such getting involved in community work, helping your neighbors, etc.
5 The ability to withstand hardships; life is a test and hardship prevails, the person who can handle hardships has high moral value, because life demands a person to be active and tough when hardships strikes.
6 Practicing good deeds: extend help or volunteer work. The most important thing is; if you see people in hardships or difficulties try to do something, and provide the best solution. The more you support others, it becomes part of your values, and people around you will get in touch with you, because they know that you can resolve some of their problems. Your support is literally humanity and sincere.
7 Personal development: Striving to be a good husband, wife, mother, father and a righteous child. Sometimes we notice others around us indulging in sins and making mistakes, it is however much harder to improve ourselves and criticize our own actions, look within to resolve our own personal values, and try your best to improve your personal character and virtues.
What is my role to support trouble teens?
Being vigilant towards our teens and noting changes and proactive in handling teens, getting updates of latest activities in school and involvement in parent meetings and support groups. hopefully some of this tips may help.
Five symptoms of trouble teens
First, you need to recognize the symptoms. So, what are the symptoms before it is too late.
If your teen spend more time outdoors or isolating in the room, it may be a sign of depression or problems, trying to keep away from parent’s confrontation and keeping to himself/herself. You need to monitor the change of attitude of your teenager, It is not the time nagging for hours and scolding him/her, because it would not work, but instead by giving a warm approach to understand and empathize by showing concern and telling the teen, if you are ready to talk, I am always here to listen and understand you. Be patience. Confronting and requesting immediate answers do not solve the problem but adds deeper isolating and worst not trusting the parent.
2 A change of heart;
Scrutinize your teenager deeper, did he/she change from a jovial person to a quiet person. The extreme change of attitude and character may prove that the teen is involved with groups and bad company. Don’t overlook the situation by keeping quiet as if nothing has happen, because he/she will grow and develop deeper into the character or such groups, but instead you need to be pro active, what I mean is not an instigation, but a friendly and trustworthy approach by talking and discussing matters about choosing friends and groups.
This proactive role should be discussed at earlier stages of development of your child, may be at the age of 7-10, by asking him about his /her friends at school, who are the good ones and avoiding trouble kids or person with bad behavior It is important for parents to know their child friends or parents, as to build a bond of trust. Getting to know the child’s whereabouts and noting to him the importance of communication to the parent, because something may happen, and the parent may not know, this communication is vital for the interest and safety of the child.
3 Involvement in drugs or alcoholic beverage;
Check their bags or room for any signs of drugs, cigarette or beverage. If you found signs, do not bluntly scold the child, but drag your child in a room and talk to him personally to identify the reason behind such items. Look for signs, is he saying lies. Check with a consultant or meet the school to inform the matter.
4 Family history
Some factors cited that the consumption of alcoholic beverage or drugs is due to family background or genetics. But the lack of a role model at home is the main cause of the problem, since mum and dad consumed drugs, why shouldn’t the child take it? It is really hard to change a child when the parents are addicted to it.
Dear parent; developing a child is like a production factory cloning generation of humans. The parent is like a tree, producing seeds of the same quality. To transform a child to be good, first the parent need to change and I know it is not easy, because consumption of alcoholic beverage has been part of our lives. To stop is impossible. Believed me, the change starts from you having knowledge and faith. If you change, you can change the destiny of your life.
5 Uninterested attitude
The exam results show a decline in performance, He/she skipped school and uninterested in hobbies. He/she brings small item into the room; you didn’t know he/she stole it. This phenomenon actually depicts the social decline of the child, you need to know what causes the change, and update more information about your child’s activities, yes I know, it is the busy schedule or may be a shaken house on the Cliff of divorce or perhaps the ambiance at home. Investigate and resolve it, do not procrastinate and acting as if it may vanish and hoping the child will change. I think it would be that easy. It needs a concreted resolution, or you may lose your child to the streets, hanging with undesirable company, and end with shameless scar on the face and it may be too late, you couldn’t safe him or your broken family.
Tips to resolve trouble teens;
Starts from you, however to change is a difficult point in life, but the necessity is tremendous, saving your family and your child. Procrastination and keeping it in view (KIV) would not resolve trouble teens. However the change should be concrete and strong, you need to change before expecting your child to change. Considering the busy pace of life and limited time, you need to get hold of quality time with your child and family, because taking care or your child is like planting a small fruit tree, you need to take care of it, from worms eating the leaves, the scorching sun and not forgetting some fertilizers, plus watering the plant with water. The love will blossom into a fruitful tree, and that is your child. To be vigilant towards your child is by taking care and changing parent’s behavior and virtues. You are the sole model and the guidance for your child.
References and useful links
- Abortion (Wikipedia)
- World Health Organization (WHO) – Statistics by the World Health Organization
-  Finer LB and Henshaw SK, Disparities in rates of unintended pregnancy in the United States, 1994 and 2001, Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health,2006, 38(2):90–96.
-  Jones RK et al., Abortion in the United States: incidence and access to services, 2005, Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health, 2008, 40(1):6–16
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