Divorce issue-I need help
The divorce issue-I need help
Objective: An approach to understand; the divorce issue-I need help, regarding family life and policies at home, and how to resolve some of these issues.
Scenario: I am going to tell you a real life case .. read more
“Recently I visited my sister in law who is a widow, she married my brother but he died in an accident involving a car and a bike. She complained about her sister who was divorced.
The divorce parents decided to part, each having their way. The wife; now married as a second wife, the ex husband also married and staying across the border. They have two teens aged 16-19. On Monday till Friday staying in my sister’s in law house, my sister’s in law work hard to support her 3 kids still in school. The situation adds more complex problem; I probe some question regarding the teens; my sister in law stated that the elder teens stayed late at night just to play with video games till 3 am and both teens will hang around at shopping complex or clubbing, but the worse part yet to come, The divorce parents do not provide financial support for the teens. The teens sometimes slept at friends’ house etc. When I heard this issue, I shudder, because the situation is very complex. The worse happens when the father of the teens beat them up, so the teens preferred to stay in my sister’s house.”
Let’s summarize the issue:
- Divorce issue
- Neglecting the teens
- Clubbing and sleeping in friend’s house
- Lack of financial and moral support
Hi guys I’m back again this week chatting about some real issues happening out there, the scene that you have just notices, conveyed a deep problem facing our society: Handling our teens. It may happen to our neighbors, in some countries and the issue seems worse, sometimes I wonder how our young generation could survive with a lot of problems, internal and external with unsolve misteries of life.
Let’s disseminate this complex case one at a time;
First point: divorce issue:
Q; why is there an increase in divorce issue in many countries?
To answer this question, I will try to point some issue;
First: Before marriage, both couples do not really know each other’s character, and taking for granted that the marriage voyage will be easy, when both of them live in their own homes; they started to realize the character and real personality of their partners. We usually point the blame on our partner, neglecting our own mistakes or ignorance. The partners start to argue or raise their voices, and day after day, it does not develop good relation but develop hate and anger. The wife gets somebody to chat at work (male) the husband dates a girl. So what happens next; the house starts to shake and tsunami plunders the house till the house collapse. The solicitor gets money, the wife gets money, and the husband gets a new girl.
I think you have heard the stories about most celebrities, I really do not know why they need to change partners, and looking for that special husband or wife, and again after married they rush to the courts.
Let’s be brave to handle this case.
Truut Truut SMS! Just a moment please.
Sir, I am married but I am not happy, because my husband usually use words that hurt my feelings, he will curse me as stupid and bla..bla. I could not take it anymore, can you help me? I am very stress, I feel like marriage is a burden to me.
Well, you see during the olden days the wife keeps to herself and try to resolve with more interactive resolution, without ever consulting any professionals or third party, However due to the complexity of our life, meeting such professionals are becoming an urgent need, working out to resolve is better than splitting ways or divorce because the children are at stake. Any decision by both parties to split means neglection and lack of support towards the kids. You really need to have a second opinion.
Dear beloved sis, sarcastic words can hurt the feelings and it is a pain in the neck. I personally understand your refuge, some people will just advice you to just quit and leave him, get a home for yourself. That’s an option, but what happens if you have children, that will be another complex problem for the kids, they are just too young to understand and confused.
Second option: negotiation with a third party, your parents to be involved or a marriage consultant who can guide you through the marriage waves. But sir, I want to keep it a secret. No sis, such issue should be handle by experts and request your husband to come along. You could not resolve the issue alone.
Third option; be brave and confront your husband. Speak in a nice tone respecting him, and tell him that you deeply love him, and never felt happy with the marriage, you have been kind to me, give some kiss or two. State your future plan and developing a happy marriage, get him to be involve then tell him that you could not bear his scolding and sarcastic words; I want you to stop this, it really hurts my feelings. But it is best to handle this issue to have a wrestling tournament in bed, just to release the tension. Then open up the topic with love and care.
Sms truut truut SMS. Just a moment please.
Q: Dear Sir, my husband doesn’t want to visit relative houses during the festive season, especially going in a group with my in laws?
He isn’t involved in house duties?
Well, sis don’t worry too much, contact your parents wanting him to come along with your parents, he will abide due to respect. At least he comes out of his isolated cave and venture out with you and the kids. You handle one kid and he handles the other kid, fair and square. Stop at a park, and let your husband play with the kids,
*ps; you need to act busy with the younger kid. so he has no choice but play with the kids.
If your husband is not interested in house duties, then the resolution is to buy some Lego toys, get the tough ones, you need to instruct your son to ask his father to help fixing the Lego toy. Do not say a word to your husband to help the child. So the child knows, if he needs to fix the Lego toy, he better request help from dad. His dad becomes a super hero for the boy. Problem solved.
Instruct your husband to go to market to by some groceries, go to the hospital with you, when you entered the room drag your husband along to see the doctor (during pregnancy). so he needs to learn responsiblity.
Sometimes you need to act a drama , as if your stomach is in pain, when he notice you, request his support and Instruct your husband to serve hot chocolate for breakfast. aha you get the idea. you just become queen of the house. You need to give appropriate instruction at home. All the best!
What If the husband preferred to stay at home?
Simple, cook some food for him and place the food in the freezer for him to reheat. Instruct him to get the food from the freezer to cook, Instruct him to serve the food hot when the kids came back from school. Aha that’s good, he is improving, let him do some chores. After food clean your own plates.
Well you see, some men are not trained during their teens to do household chores, when they grow up, they doesn’t know a damn thing about it, don’t know how to cook, wash own clothes, go to the market. He doesn’t know what type of fish to buy. He only knows how to eat. Aha! We are going to change the ball game. That’s the reason; you need to train your kids to do all these duties to prepare them for their adult life. Instruct them to pick their own toys, and clean the house, if I see any toys scattered around I will pick and throw it in the dustbin, and you must be serious to really throw the toys in the dustbin. The kids will develop appreciation and responsibility towards whatever they own.
My kid was watching TV and playing video games more than the agreed time, let’s say 1 hour in week of video game, if the kid played more than the agreed time, you pick and throw the TV or game. Really throw, hi are you crazy I bought it at 500 dollars, do you love your kids or the TV. If you fail to implement this policy you fail to educate them to be stringent to policies agreed upon and endorsed by the kids.
If there is no policy at home then the jungle rule exist, and everybody at home do whatever he wishes to do, why? No policy.
Understanding the comparative behavior of husband and wife
Researchers stated that men have limited words to use in speech 7000 words a day whereas women have 30000 words a day. That’s the reason; when the husband returns home he didn’t speak much because the words depleted from his bank of 7000 words at work, so when he reach home, he reads papers or nod his head.
The women with 30,000 words are ready to talk and chat with the husband who just sits on the chair with a cappuccino.
Men can view about 45 degrees whereas women able to see more then 180 degrees. You see; men have difficulties finding things at home, he also ask the same question: Honey..love! where is the button. What button? my long sleeve button. It’s in the drawer. No! there isn’t any buttons here either. ok darling, the wife enters the room, suddenly ZAP.. here it is darling. Oh. Thank you honey love..the husband slot in his long sleeve shirt with the buttons and the next minute vanish out of sight. where is he? GONE to work as usual.
Men are able to resolve issue because he thinks globally whereas women are able to think in detail. Hey ladies don’t ask me to change the curtain or what color to choose. You see, when a man sits on the couch, he is thinking to resolve an issue at work or house.
ting tong, ting tongg!
What’s that, I am just finishing this article, and somebody making noise outside my house. Ok I’m going to peep through my CCTV. wow! girls, women.. it seems they are shouting at me!
Hey! open up you scoundrel
Ok, relax… hey guys can you help me here, very urgent…SOS..SOS..It seems no one answer my call for help. ok now I am going to try dialing: 999
truut truut… Hello this is the police station, May I help you.
Hello officer: my house is attack by aliens… ALIENS.. yeah crazy women knocking my door.
Aha! Got you! Are you the writer who wrote about “divorce issue-I need help”
Yes madame! Don’t worry so much sir, They just want to interrogate you with some general question. ok, Thank you for the tip officer, have a nice day. Same to you!
I think I better switch off all the lights, just to be safe. It’s dark sir, never mind, I am safe from ALIENS. keeep on reeading more articles coming up. NANO NANO..teet teet..
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